"My Year"

Soundtrack: M83 - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming December 18th, 2010 I sat with several Austin Stone interns at the wedding reception of another fellow intern. I had graduated only days before, I didn't have a job lined up, and I was, as always, single, with little dating prospects. As we talked over dinner, one of my friends at the opposite end of the table started saying something to me that I couldn't understand.

"Emilee, this is going to be your year!"

I wasn't part of the conversation going on at that end of the table, so I assumed it was the punchline of some joke I was missing. I asked him what he meant.

"I can feel it! This is going to be your year!" he said again with complete, however goofy, confidence. Though I was sure he was just messing with me, his words stuck. To this day I don't know why he said what he said, but he was more right than I could have imagined.

This was actually the second wedding I had been to that day. The first I attended earlier that afternoon. It was one of those weddings where it's a really good friend getting married so all of your best friends are there together and having a blast is a given. I got there just early enough that none of my friends had arrived yet, so I decided to kill some time by checking my hair in the restroom. When I walked back out to the lobby I caught eyes with a boy staring at me from across the room. Only he doesn't remember this.

This was the day that my boyfriend, David, and I started to really talk and become more than acquaintance/friends for the first time. Though I always found him interesting, David was too introverted and altogether too much of a he-man-woman-hater to give me the time of day. But on this day, and by God's sovereignty, I misinterpreted what was probably a bored guy staring into space as being a romantic movie moment where the guy notices me from across the room and love ensues. And I mean, why not? These things happen at weddings all the time right? Plus, I was in heels and a dress. I looked good! (And yet he still doesn't recall this.)

So I sat next to him during the ceremony and we were dating by March.

I think "my year" started that day. I had no idea what would happen with David. I had no idea what this year would bring.

Job 1:21, "And he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.'"

This scripture reminds me of my year. I went through ups and downs of employment, finances, housing, relationship drama with David, relationship drama with friends, made new friends, lost loved ones, watched friends get married, start new relationships, and break up. I struggled to let go of my control idol, my approval idol, wrestled with my insecurities, my  fear of moving overseas, my fear of the future, my fear of death. I learned to be less passive aggressive, I learned to trust the Lord more, I learned to love the gospel more. I was hurt horribly by people and I loved people horribly (in the good sense and bad sense), and I learned more about myself than I could've imagined.

This year was more than I could've imagined.

I've still got a lot of growing to do. I see lots of big things happening in my future and this year presents opportunities to set goals and do just that. I'm hoping to post some of these goals up soon so you beautiful people can hold me accountable to them.

Here's to 2012 being "my year" all over again.