Soundtrack: Sleigh Bells - Reign of Terror For the last few weeks I've been taking a new Get Trained class at the Stone called "Satisfied". This is the first semester the class has been offered, and I think it's the best class for women to come out of the Get Trained ministry. If you are a women who wants to love Jesus more, TAKE THIS CLASS. It will ruin your life for good.
I will admit I had some pride going into this class (yet another reason why I needed it so badly). Having taken so many GT classes in the past and with the connections I have to staff, I assumed I would probably get asked to be a table leader. No big deal. I lead tables like it's my job. So I waited for that email asking me if I would oh so humbly step up and lead my table with all my Godly wisdom, theological knowledge, and general Proverbs 31 Woman-ness.
Then the email went out reminding us 1.) class starts this Sunday and 2.) there is a missional community component Wednesday nights and if you can't participate you need to switch to the non-mc version of the class.
First of all, clearly the Get Trained ministry hated me. How could they have not asked me to lead a table? Am I not humble enough? Gracious enough? Are strength and dignity not my clothing? Is the teaching of kindness not on my tongue? My non-existant children don't rise up and call me blessed and my future husband doesn't praise me? Is my clothing not fine linen and purple? Because I will wear purple if that's what it takes! (If you don't get these references, you are clearly not a Proverbs 31 woman. (P.S. I think I hate that term. More on that later.))
Second of all, I signed up for a missional community? That was definitely NOT on the website when I signed up or I never would have... oh wait, yep. It's there. Curse you asterisks!
So I was upset and feeling pretty darn prideful for a good 24 hours before I got the friendliest email I've probably ever received (if you are friends with Theresa you know what I'm talking about) asking me if I would lead a table and missional community for Satisfied.
I felt like a butt head. Thank you God for showing me this about myself.
Since the class has started I can honestly say I've felt convicted of something every single week and that those convictions go beyond just an epiphany in the class room, but God is actually changing my heart and mind more each day. Somehow, the women who wrote this curriculum seem to have captured these major sins, lies that Satan feeds us to believe about ourselves and our worth, that burden every woman. I can say that they are a burden for every woman because of those in my group no one has ever had an "I don't struggle with that" moment. In fact we've mostly felt the opposite, "How did they know I feel that way? Wait, you think that too? Is it even possible for a woman to not struggle with this? Can we do a case study on women who don't struggle with this? Something is wrong with them." With that said, if you have ovaries and think that you don't need this class, I will fight you.
Some of the subjects we have been tackling include being happy, being special, and what it means to be fully known and loved. These have wrecked me every week. I see more and more clearly the lies that I've believed for probably my whole life. The ways that I've believed I'm special according to the world and not through the lens of the gospel, or the ways my actions are always driven toward my happiness being found in the world and not in relationship with the Lord. It's literally called me to a new way of thinking about myself, others, and the world around me. It's called me to take 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 as more than just a cute little suggestion, and put it into action.
"For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ"
I'm not great at this. I'm not even good at this. But God is good at this. He loves shaping our hearts, even if it's the teeniest tiniest bit and it feels like nothing's changing. I've seen changes not just in myself, but in every woman in my group, some by leaps and bounds. Together we are learning what it looks like to love God more and to change our thoughts and actions by tackling sin head on, in and through community.
If you are a woman, I urge you to take this class. I promise it will challenge you, it will probably hurt you, but God will change you. And it will be wonderful.